script development

first thoughts 

my script went through a variety of changes throughout the writing process. my first idea was to write a comedy featuring a mime and a clown fighting in a high street for a performance space. this would have been a silent comedy as neither the mime or clown would talk and everything would happen through their actions. i changed this idea quite early on though as comedy is considered one of the hardest genres to write as comedy is very subjective but also because since there is no talking, it would be very hard to have a very long and continous action sequence written on a script.

first draft

i changed my idea to one of my ideas i had drafted but chose not to write orignially. i chose a fantasy piece to write as i enjoy writing fantasy and it is an easier genre to write and hit key notes of the genre. this made the writing process a lot easier for me as evertyhing flowed and i couod write about what i love to write and the final product came together really well as it is about a meeting in an inn between a character and someone who would be considered 'the big bad'. i was inspired by the short film "Laura Hasn't Slept" which is a short horror film that was turned into a big budget film called "Smile". my inspiration was that i created my story and it was left open towards the end as it led to the possibility of more happening in the future affecting the world and characters we met in the screenplay.

feedback

the feedback that i recieved from Jane was that i made the film seem like it came form a feature film and that i needed to give the piece some more emotional resonance and make the story seem more closed. i was also told to cut down on some actions as i wrote some hefty paragraphs of description and not enough emotion or character movement  as well as not describing the characters appearance.

second draft

in my second draft i started with the feedback about emotional resonance and it seeming like a feature film. i tried to add a few lines of dialogue in to correct these ties but in the end, it wasn't the angle that i wanted to go for for the story that i wanted to tell. my vision was it to be a short film with an open end such as that of a tv pilot or as previously mentioned a lead on to a bigger thing in the future. i tried to correct to the feedback accordingly but decided to not fully embrace an closed ending. next i started trimming down on some unecessary actions or descriptions that i had put into the script. there was a decent amount i was able to remove as in some parts it was more like i was writing a novel than a screenplay. in place of these long sections i removed, i added in shorter sections of the same events, just not as detailed whilst also adding in descriptions of things i was told i needed to have more of. for example, i gave a description to Benamarth and what he looked like broadly so it would give the reader an idea of what the character would look like so they know who to look for for casting. i also added in some more emotions for the scenes that are tense so the characters know how to say their lines and how they are physically reacting to things around them.

sound equipment workshop and chatham docks exercise

 sound workshop

we had a sound workshop in which we covered the basic of sound gear that would be used on a typical film/tv show shoot. we were given descriptions of what everything is and details about what they are used for during filming. the equipment we were shown included:  a boom pole, a blimp, a dead cat, a shotgun micorphone and a tascam. once we were debriefed about how they worked and what they did we were told and trained how to use them accordingly and did a small excercise in using them so we could get used to the techniques. the tascam took a bit of getting used to as it was a bit difficult at first to be able to press the buttons and dials on it whilst holding the boom pole up but after a while it got a bit better but i still need more practice.

chatham docks

a couple of days after the sound workshop we went to chatham docks where we allowed to film a short piece of media on the historic dockyard. my group decided to film on one of the boats and filmed a short pirate piece called "a pirates life for me". i was operating the boom pole and tascam so the sound workshop we did a couple of days earlier was a big help as it made me familiar with all the equipment and how i should use it on a proper shoot in a different environment. the hardest part of filming outside was the fact that the wind is always blowing and making noise so you have to position the boom pole and microphone in a way that prevents too much wind getting caught in the audio track and muffling the actors talking and line delivery. another problem we faced was that across the river there was construction happening and every 10 minutes or so there would be a massive banging noise that went on for about 2-5 minutes each time. since this was a variable out of our control, the only thing we could do was wait for the noise to end and then continue filming once we had silence back. overall, the final result of the film weas quite good, the sound i recorded was very audible and you could easily hear what the characters were saying with no unwanted noises such as wind or construction.

pilot script review

 community pilot script - Zachary Cook

the pilot episode features on the character of Jeff Crocker (name Changed to Jeff Winger in actual pilot episode), and his attempt at trying to get the character Britta to go on a date with him which he does in creating a fake study group of misfit students across campus in his spanish class. the plot of the show sees Jeff being sent to Community college after being found out with a fake law degree. in the early pages of the pilot we can see Jeff trying to bargain his way through an easy college life by bribing an old client who is a porfessor at the school. this is a personal goal and shows Jeff if a character who will say and do anyhting he needs to to get what he wants.

the main conflict in the script starts when Professor Duncan (Jeff's old client)  agrees to give him the test answers and Jeff returns to Britta and Abed who have invited more people from their spanish class into the fake study group Jeff created causing tension between all the characters who all have some little arguments with each other due to previous unseen interactions with each other.

the conflict is resolved when Jeff is forced to leave the study group and it is revealed the answers are fake and he sits on a bench defeated. this is when the rest of the study group come out of the library and sees him on the bench dejected. they walk over and eventually, with britta begrudingly doing so, inviting him back into the study group so he doesn't flunk his classes. this resolves the episode conflict of jeff starting a study group to get into Britta's pants but sets up the show arc and storyline and conflict of passing spanish class and graduating community college so Jeff can be a lawyer again.

overall the pilot episode of community sets up the series really well setting up the relationships between the characters and creating a lasting conflict throughout that everyone is working against. it suggests Jeff won't have an easy journey ahead but as long as he learns to be more human and connect with his study group he will conquer his challenges.